Cycling and Me.

i feel like an injured bird now. a fatigue but happy one :)
yesterday was madness. a secretly self-planned 2 hour cycling episode turned out to be a FIVE hour cycling trip from one end of east coast to the other end (4.5km), to Changi Airport (10km) then Changi Beach (14km) and finally Changi Village (a gazillion km).

the very FIRST time i learnt cycling (which was during a bbq at east coast), i immediately went night cycling. Jabbing through bushes and plunging down slopes never travelled before. I fell so many times, with a shriek scream/ cry preceding each of them. yesterday, on my 4th attempt cycling, we decided to venture further- past cut out bicycle paths, till walkways and even roads. at 4 plus we were only on half of journey to our final destination (changi village) and I was really doubtful I'd make it there and back to our start point by 7pm. benedict kept asking me if i wanted to turn back then because firstly, strength was a challenge, secondly by sunset those roads we travelled would be completely dark as there were no street lamps. Just go, just go! I kept saying to myself (and benedict). I kept losing my balance suddenly and not being able to steer straight partially due to fatigue and due to fear. I remember fearing those big drains at the side and imagining what would happen to me if i didnt dodge in time. Amazingly, everytime I harboured the latter thoughts, there would be no doubt I would end that stretch with a scream and being on the brink of tears. everytime i imagined my bike getting stuck in those fearful big drains, the bike handles would head towards those monsters. On the other hand, if i didnt think anything of them at all, I would be on top of them, smoothly gliding through the rough patches and even winning over those dreadful 'tukus' ( big fruits which make you fly from your bike if you dont grab your bike hard enough). it sounds dramatic but at certain points, i seriously stopped halfway while going upslope because my thighs had ZERO energy bars left - and so, not being able to take a cab back because someone would be burdened with my bike, i prayed. I prayed for sustenance and perseverance, i prayed for everything i was lacking in. This wasnt meant to be a testimony... but i realise almost everytime i blog it turns out to be one! He never leaves us and never allows a space between us and Him like how that margin always widens among human beings...truly He is amazing. On top of this, i learnt so much about myself. Full of self-doubt I am, and a vast potential of rather unpleasant imagination. Even as a child, when my mum attempted to teach me swimming, i would just sit at the side, convinced there were either sharks i wouldnt be able to escape, or convinced that i would drown.

Besides biking, there's math. I got a really good trashing out from dear Lorraine yester-yesterday while talking to her on my way to ecp. she was really shocked when she heard how i was struggling with math now and she was right how i was influenced from the arts fac mentality. After hearing that and pondering upon its truth, i really wanted to shoot myself. Whats wrong with me! I mean, after all the papers, math is undoubtedly going to be my worst judging from how much i even attempted. And i surely wont forgive myself once i get my paper back because lorraine's words will ringg in my head. Im glad im regretting now at least, because im not going to regret next year. too early to make a new year resolution ahh but heck 1) im going for ALL math lectures. 2) im going for ALL econs lectures. yeay.

OK, guess I need to do some serious thinking huh. just read lesley and bev's blog. they are still as sweet as ever and they make me miss SC so much now! just read how bev says how her portfolio is intact with so many dance/ drama programmes she has to do, and then how she just needs to focus on her results for now. Then i started thinking of myself - OH NO! seriously. haha. ok, i need to be more aware, more focused, more goal-orientated. C'mon! hha.

the next thing i really wanted to say, was the revival of meiyi moments!
haha was cycling halfway ytd when xianyong was on the opposite side and was blading. i didnt see him but he suddenly shouted "meiyi moments"!
so many besides the a12 lit trippers who are ultra familiar with this term (haha,) still asking what it means! hha.

Top funny convo:

daniel: where are you!
me: here, under a coconut tree!
daniel: which coconut tree sia! you not scared coconut drop on your head ah!
me: oh yea. ok where are you? raise your hand NOW.
daniel raises his hand*
me: i see you i see you!
daniel: aah a group of people just walked past and thought i was funny la, suddenly raise hand!
me: yay haha!

***after a few minutes

me: ay, where's your bike?
daniel: i dont have a bike?
me: huh, but i thought all the vs guys (in band)had a bike!
daniel: ... im not from VS!
me: oh yea!.. heh.

:)