The people I've been seeing everyday every minute every hour for the last 3 weeks, as well as during semester 2. They've seen me upset, angry, cry, gone, happy, crazy, mad. Yep, I guess we're all gonna be relieved once CBB is over, but then again everything has mixed feelings doesn't it.
This time last year, I thought this was the most awesomest camp I'd ever had. Now its our turn to create this experience for 80 more.
Im soo confused by what you are saying -- are you trying make to make me be disillusioned about everything and forget about it, in entirety I mean, or did that really happen? Did it?
Because if it did, I guess its just reflective of our sparring relationship, love-hate, me demanding more from you that I did of myself. If its the latter, I'd apologise, but i wont feel sorry.
That's just the way it is now, like camille says, if we hold on to the past too tight, there can be no future.
It's tough to be man.
On another note: I HAD THE MOST AWESOMEST 20TH BIRTHDAY because I had absolutely zero expectations and I was thrown off everytime a surprise came. HPB's one was the funnest cos they made me do some hulas before I could eat the cake, and the Crossers' ones was sweet. OMG but paiseh because after the 11k run at Macritchie, I had this really bad stomachache, and I was in the toilet long enough for them to get themselves super organised and all hiding behind this platform thing HAHA.
Thank you friends, really. I feel 100 up!:)
Another funny episode:
Status: Me catching 40 winks at 7pm after waking at 7am
Phone rings : I see Annabelle Leow calling and our pretty photo pops up.
I answer, blur me hears a boy's voice.
Check. Annabelle Leow.
Oh wait, ok its Wei Xian.
Me: Hi Wei Xian!
Wei Xian: Halo. Happy birthday. * i hear leow's voice in the background.
Me: Ah, I lie back and close my eyes.
Wei Xian: "Leow asks if you want a smooching(couldnt really catch this btw) kiss"
Me: "Err, ok!"
Wei Xian: "huh , you really want ah."
Me: "Why not, if you can lor."
... ... ...
HAHA.
was telling my mum Im good pals with so many people's boyfriends hahahaa. and thats just cos my ex used to take care of them too so i expect the same returns ok.
In my sis's terms: Buy 1 get 7 free.
Girls, hear this???:):):)
Hahaah it is super funny my sister is sitting opposite me skyping with Kaiming, and i'm kind of talking to him also just that I insist he doesnt see me now, because im wearing my spectacles, which is a very bad reason because he says he is wearing specs too. hahaha but i claim its different.
And its disturbing that my sister talks to him in a slightly more formal American slang, and thats just cause KM is in US now hahaha.
I love my sister and wish she could be here to stay:( What sucks more is that I wont even be home the whole of next week, and she's going shanghai a few days after I get back:( Plus she has CFA to study for, boo.
Anyway I've grown up whooo!:):):)
** ok status updated:
I've already skyped with him and he is so funny, saw his skype messages with my sis" KM: Miss you *inside car*
SIS: Miss you *outside car*
HAHHA. omg so mushy. I tell you he win already, i've never seen my cold-to-boys-sister ever so happy before. I'm so happy for her:):)
PEK CHEK is a term used by Cantonese to describe pent up frustration which cannot be verbalised, either because the time isn't right, or because it is simply so frustrating that you just cant say it out.
PCTTM = Pek Chek TTM (to the max) has been a term I've encountered a lot this week besides those awesome times I managed to steal happy time, and I think its sufficient to cause a minor heart disorder.
what eg said was so true "I realised you are always waiting for something to be over, but this time its really true." UHHUH.
God please help me extra extra :'(
The big day is coming in four days, and I guess that's part of the reason why I've been feeling so upbeat ;p even the most sickening things which made me so upset while school term was on can't get me down now :) another reason is because I guess I had a super good cry (the only other time since Jan) last week and after that things just turned for the better. My Friends have also been so awesome and to those who have reminded me to treasure so many other things in life, thank you.:)
I know I have been 24/7 hours in school because of cbb prep but this doesn't make my friendships with those outside any weaker- I know those sorta waiting (I mean of course they are doing their own things too la haha)are proud and happy that I'm doing what I want to do, and they trust that i'd always stay true to myself and pursue genuine happiness. In this sense I'm eternally grateful and there is no way I can express my deepest appreciation:)
today was another super long day planning cbb but got loads including filming done:) tmr's morning's meeting w the fwocers, before games testing. Then I'm taking leave to meet the girls for bak kut Teh at tiong bahru:) aft that it's back to school for programmes meeting.
Ok it's 2 and I think the light from my phone is making light- sleeper carol listless. This was just a short update for those wondering what I've been up to, since I have sorta mia-ed:)
p.s you are really impressing me here, btw;) time will tell:)
I've got a resolution, and I've told enough buddies to help me keep me on track:S And wed was frustrating, besides hall people, saw my past x 2 groups, plus the crossers! but thankew hpb alot really and baldie was making it a wacky, penguin night HAHA:):)
Apart from that, ohmy tonight at home was awesome:
Lots of fruits+ see's candies!:)+ chatting with my oldest sis who just got back from hk+ canton movies ( i miss baldie's canton ranting + family + some guests= I <3 home!
Didnt join the hpb guys for Robin Hood after midnight (now actually) cos i was really so glad to be home, no way am i going back!
Tomorrow its buffet with my family and parkway (KOI YUMM) before heading down to city hall starbucks with hpb. gnna use the time to finish up planning for sp games whoo!
I love my apps on iPhone oh my AND viwawa wahjong with valmond and alywin. better not let my mahjong addiction come back though!:S if not once june comes its gonna be those crazy mahjong sessions till morning again!
P.S I think Justin Bieber is a little weird/scary, the way he smiles!
P.P.S: lu's coming back in 5 days! cant wait.
P.P.P.S: leow/ weixian: reply me already please! and vera come bk really soon, got some stuff to update you manz!
Wow i had a REALLY good time last night, sid's 21st first then sc. I realise I always tend to underestimate the kind of fun I have with my batch of vjcsb pals. But really I always feel so safe with the now -crowned and stamped-chope-confirm "independent and sensible" army boys:) I mean really I'm so impressed with them and really one thing I cannot discount is how the girls and guys alike know me so well...really...I know I can count on them.
And it was hilarious at feifei when we suddenly became quiet over wanton mee because the group behind us was talking about jiawei's band and we were trying to eavesdeop,and like so tempted to turn around and say,
"hey, this is the zai bassist you are talking about, dudes!"
The past 2 weeks have been sort of me going through a rough patch with regards to matters of the heart. This overlapped with my exam week and I think it was because I knew exams a.k.a school was ending. In a sense, any free time I had during school term had to be dedicated to school work (uhhuh) and not to other things which I took up. This part coming to and end, and 3 months of free-er life ahead kind of frightened me.
What I was so entirely yearning for, time to plan my own days, a choice to turn down events or to cook up excuses (yes, really) without anyone discovering me hiding elsewhere was coming (uhhuh), so real, and thus daunting. This is the first time I haven't exactly secured a job for the coming holidays prior to the end of school and not being on internship/ work attachment like some others. I was treading between the lines of becoming what I always wanted to try out, yet not feeling too comfortable because its not like me to do so... In essence what I want to be, yet not so because its totally not me = equivalent to a couch potato sitting in front of TV (showing Scrubs) and knowing that after that i had the luxury of taking a nap, yes. thats awesome. Top that up with the knowledge that I can enjoy a homecooked dinner after that hmm:)
However, especially this week, this seemed really possible since WMYC only took up today and Tuesday, and the rest of NUS kinda still has exams (and I dont want to go around asking anyway). After the very awesome weekend, Monday was spent with me following my Mum to "work"! haha she isnt really working, but she is babysitting a relative's 2.5 yrs old daughter to help her out. So i followed her to Charlotte's home and played with her for the whole day and even took a nap while she did too. haha. We watched OKTO programmes like Eloise (British uptown school girl) and Olivia (erm a pink piglet) and some other good kiddy shows! Charlotte was so cute and her hyperactivity was kind of refreshing:)
Yesterday was spent running errands with my Mum at PP (yay hometown): developing photos, doing some banking and grocery shopping as well as getting my KOI again:) at night after Dad gt back fr work, we actually drove to eunos station, and took a train to bugis to take a walk and erm look at the blackberry which i'd most prob be getting for my birthday (although currently im still not too enthusiastic about being soo updated with technology, but my parents are quite onz about the idea so yes).
These two spontaneous days along with the experience on Tuesday and today of interviewing the WMYC facils have really made me so glad and purposeful again. Having seen nearly 30 other NUS participants who have responded to our call for facilitators and hearing their views of they think of the topic of Championship has opened my eyes and reaffirmed my decision in making big sacrifices this semester as well as this holidays.
Also got a chance to talk to Elvis today about possibly doing an ISM next semester, prob with Nash! We're going to do on communal living and hmm yup our case studies will be relations in our dear 2nd home KR.:) It will be one mod on its own and it will be a refreshing start. However onto other stuff, Elvis asked me a question which kind of baffled me -- He asked me what my biggest goal at the end of 4 years of NUS was -- a first class honours? I said no. Hall President? I said no. USP President? I said NO... haha. Then what was it? Well I said, 2nd-class honours and a ticket to sponsored Masters, and get the most out of everything. Then he adviced me to give it a good think-through. Technically, for now, First class, seems quite daunting, yet at the same time, not entirely impossible. I guess what Elvis wanted me to be was basically not to be pigeon-holed in thinking and jaded just cos I've done so many activities this year and nearly all have been completed. ON top of this,
over the last few days, have been doing quite a lot of praying and day after day I get more clues of the smaller jigsaw pictures -- Im thinking of stepping up to CG leader for C-blk next sem, doing YEP next sem and prob do committee work for KRV. the past 2 sems have been so much about myself - like upping skills in organising (WMYC, HPB, SMU, health), dancing (uhhh) Chingay, improving in running (roadrace, cross) -- i guess im just sick of being so selfish and self-obsessed = yes this has been my problem I reckon. Will do one overseas trip with USP next year and I think that should be sufficient. Will continue in Cross though cos running with those guys and girls are just awesome:)
I guess I cant say I've got everything entirely mapped out, but its certainly a good way to go.
Ok i have 8 hours to start and finish my term essay due tomorrow. But im going for a loong run first cos the weather is good. Prob Henderson waves:) 11km, and my thighs should be a goner by then.:)I also chose the right day to be back in hall, cos my floor is so lively today, bbq with the 7th floor guys tonight. And sentosa with the girls tomorrow morning. Oh then 60 buck tickets with Jastine to Animal Farm! cant wait:)
I forgot to tell you that I have also let go already, and in fact last night I dreamt of you, X. I guess even my subconscious is sick of holding tight on something that can never ever can return. I have to trust that the last decision we made, of so many we had previously made together, is the right one, and like our maxim :
"Even if we didn't make the right choice, we gotta make the choice right":)
Saturday's Sid's 21st, then its a late night out with eric and prob will bump into a few hall people. Dafril was hilarious - "Meiyi moments, are you free saturday night. we are going for supper but must wear very nice". haha:)
Oh and Thank you Eric and Jastine, you guys ARE DA BOMB, seriously. You guys form a part of the perfect past I had, that i know will always be there, even when how it seems to crumble...
My sister just got back to Dubai from her trip to US to visit Kaiming, during which she had a surprise ticket to go New York too. :)
Not only is he great because he appreciates my sister's baking (hahahaah ok which I must say the photos are looking better and better).... but maybe thats also cos No.2, he is a pretty good photographer:) (y)!
Km and Lulu @ Tuggs Tavern.
OK. I SHALL MOVE ON WITH OTHER PHOTOS:) haha. 
This has to be my favourite.
Cant wait for my sis to be back, why must you be back before I can really move out of hall (i.e. before may 27??) SIGH. :( That's quite upsetting cos ive only a week to spend with her before she flies off to Shanghai with my Mum. this is another big SIGH ill be missing the shanghai trip and visit to the Shanghai Expo:( oh well but still:)
I love my sister she is such a good role model and she amazes me how she stays so independent in such an unfamiliar country like Dubai. <3
