It's hard sometimes, waking up to a world you weren't used to for as long as you were content with. Makes it even worse that you started the whole thing yourself so the only thing you really got to blame is, yourself.

But looking on the bright side, the pain always comes from a thorough healing process, and I think its best to reflect on your mistakes and how you could step away from that, then of course, move on.

did you stand too close to the fire

Im skipping training today, because I've been instructed to let my calf sprain and toe sprain rest. Road race in 8 days, so not in shape:(

Im going to finish my Paper 1 first, go for a longgg easy run to West Coast Park then go for hpb meeting! Collating photos for Char's party tmr too!

[edited]

OK plan failed, managed to go for an easy run with baldwin for the win, butttt other than that:( Master's ice cream supper and impromptu C blk performance kinda took my mind off concentration for Paper 1 ( I managed to get my motive and thesis though:)) and then it was hpb meeting... havent collated photos oh no.

gotta wake up in 4 hours time for KR Charity run, then heading to meet the army boys for Project CHARISSA!:D

not going for nussu bash tmr or MUSE next week..:( have fun peeps:(((

***

Im really praying I manage to keep my work in check by end of next next week... havent started on Week 1 readings for 3 modules. gosh. And its not helping I have such a conscience that makes me confess during tutorials that I havent touched the readings. I mean honesty is the best policy but there goes my tutorial participation marks! =(

Next Saturday I have BOTH CHINGAY AND CNY STEAMBOAT with the girls. Haven't met the girls for eons, but how to give any more excuses for Chingay! oh no.
Sunday is gone too, so next week is killer week k.

COME ON MEIYI GET YOUR ACT TGT, PRIORITISE PLEASEEEEE.

It's 5.24am. Im having second thoughts about even sleeping tonight, because I have a harder time waking up and feeling worse if I slept. oh well.

What a week it has been, really. Academically and everything else.
Things have become so overwhelming that I dont even sms anymore, did you know that? My phone is just a medium of urgent contacting, usually contacting people I need to contact, for meetings or responding to people... It's not on purpose its just that I dont remember to sms back, or take at least a day to do that. Usually these smses need some thought and I put off replying because at the time I read the message, im usually not in the state of mind to reply coherently. For once, I feel that even two diaries (yes I have two diaries, not forget a couple of online calendars) can't even help my saturated brain.

I dread opening my official emails, because I know almost every one needs a reply back.

And I dread looking at my timetable to find a free slot, even for lunch with people, because I probably can't find one.

"Book me first book me first", shouts all the dates this month and next month.

Hurhur.

Almost.can't.breathe.

Thanks to those who understand, even though you probably think this isn't too good, yet you know you can't convince me otherwise yet.

you

Out of everything i miss about the past, I miss this most.

How long is it going to take for me to accept my new past,

I want to be happy, again, soon.

1st time after 1 sem in KR, entering iheartkr.blogspot.com...

Read through a few posts and found this, much to my surprise...
Ive got something addressed to me, without even knowing! yay:D
will miss ya jiayun..:(

Tuesday, December 29, 2009
To: C-Blk 4th floor
To me, college without Kent Ridge would be like a much more expensive high school education with a lot more travelling to be done.

I made a whole bunch of great friends here and thoroughly enjoyed freedom and independence. It’s been real great, yes.

With every step of the way, there was little difficulty easing into the unfamiliar university environment. People were always around to make sure I was ok, that I’d fit in naturally like a missing piece of the jigsaw, that everything suited me to the tee. And the closest group of people I have in KR is my neighbours :) It feels really awesome whenever I return to my room and the doors beside mine are all open, neighbours coming out just to say “Hi, how’s your day?”. And somehow in the middle of many nights, they just comfortably, conveniently plonk themselves on my bed for absolutely no reason, yet it always ends with nice cosy conversations. We’ll go out for jogs together at 9pm. Post-its overflowing with encouragements stuck everywhere. Sharing a supper meal to make sure we don’t actually consume too much unneeded calories. Squeezing into a single room so that we can eat our order-in lunches together on a rainy afternoon. Celebrate birthdays. Collect laundry together.

My neighbours are the people who woke me up at 8:20am when I slammed my alarm on a morning I had a 9am examination. They are the ones who bought me liang-cha and offered all sorts of throat-soothing-edibles when I had a cough. And for who they are, I love them. ♥

The C-herubs – they keep me safe and they keep me sane.

-jy.

***

Im amazed at myself, and how I have been drawn into this whole thing. So typical of me la, really.

Anyway,i just got back from Vera's room, after htht-ing with her and ABC, abc's staying over today:D

Anyway I've been telling people nowadays I need to do 10 happy things before I do one thing 1 thing like studying.:( I feel quite bad, because the only thing I've been conscientiously doing is the module that I like, which is the writing mod in USP. Besides that, I've been dozing off in the rest of the lectures. I'm so sleepy and I find it boring... Bad student. :(

Im going to try harder though.
Today I went for an easy run to run off the lactic acid, and it was really effective. Feel so much better now, before that it felt that like I was dragging lead along.

Going to email the girls now and then head to bed.:D

Just got back from lunch with Mom.
Going to Vivo with mel, clement and bryan now.
Only have USS at 6pm.

SHIOK.

What I will miss

late nights movies nachos sea sports commsball parents brothers sisters grandparents fish & co manhattan pollock calamari calls textmessages morningmessages wakeupcalls forcedsleep running gyming bubbletea friends moviepreviews matchmaking taxis mrt music craft letters cards pictures smiles tears celebrations dreams past present future hopes dashed uncertainty thebest

I will miss how you always were the best to me, how I was always thankful of that.
I will miss how ideal we were, in our values and what we wanted.
I will miss how we dreamt of how beautiful our future would be.

We agreed it was a product of circumstances, and not because of anything else.

Right now, I still like you a lot and if you asked me today, I would still say Yes.
But I stopped myself now because I knew if it was any later, it would hurt even more.

Time to move on, and, better luck next time.

It is the end of one of the craziest weeks I've ever had in my life...

I'm still having mixed emotions, yet I know its for the best. Sometimes you just know, and you dont feel the need to explain to anyone.

Anyhow, I have been really caught up with so many things, I hardly have time to think much! Saturday was awesome, spent the morning doing smu duty, before heading down to telok blangah hill park with the crossers for mel's farewell. Went to vivo for dinner and dex ee ghim tricia and I watched the sky and the stars! It was such a nice feeling, and htht-ed abit with dex, made me feel somewhat better:D Then some of us watched Invictus, got a lift home from Eric and by the time i knocked out it was almost 5am!

That explains my washed out look today. But it was still ok, although I cant do any work, because im just so so tired. Just got back from Tiong Bahru with Jairus, Sher and her friend Atria visiting from Penang. Good food and good company:D

Tomorrow it's going to be so busy. Lessons, training, Chingay fitting then Chingay. Wont be joining the girls for NY I love you although i'd love to! :x

And yes, have i told you about how interesting my writing module is? Im doing this topic on clothing and identities and my prof is most engaging. Its like watching tv! Comparable to korean drama. Feel so thankful I like what im studying. It helps so much. :D

off to a good start

It's 9.45am, im about to cross the road to biz library, gonna focus hard on this two very cheem readings for writing module later. it's really interesting though.

Woke up early and had my very first proper hall meal with Gladys and Clement. It was so nice catching up and advising and encouraging each other for the coming year.

I have till 2.30pm to study, after that its WMYC Meeting (the 4th this week gosh), followed by writing mod till 6pm, then training till 8 plus.

I'm off to a good start, going to get CAP 4.6 this semester. :D
And i really aspire to sleep by 12.45am every night (when there are no meetings on), so that I dont get eyebags back and illnesses etc.

Met my mum at Ghim Moh for brunch yesterday, it was so nice updating her about my first week of school. Mum = best friend!

Alright, gotta scoot.
Have a good day everyone:D

I boasted my happiness too early.

Im having a bad headache now, and my eyes hurt.

First day of school

It's the first day of school... and I'm really proud of myself! Did ALOT today...its 3.18am and Im still happy.. haha. Maybe its precisely because its only the first day of school, but oh well, enthusiasm is always good right:D I shall tell you about my super fulfilling day!

1) Slept at 4am on Sunday night but my body was super disciplined and i woke up at 8.30am! Forced myself to rest for another half an hour, before I got up to take a bath and headed to school!

2) I WALKED to my lecture theatre! it's an upslope walk and i walked quite fast because I was running late... so yes, good morning exercise!

3) Pop culture lecture with ABC and Leo... good choice, I like the module! Spotted many familiar faces!

4) Rushed lunch with Vera and ABC till 12.15pm...

5) Went for English 2211 Lecture late... at 12.20pm! But it was ok... I dont really like the module but i guess im stuck with it:(

6) Went back to hall... and downloaded all my readings...sent it to Dad to print for me!

7) Was responding to emails and all when Baldwin suggested a very good idea..an afternoon run! Met him, Valmond and Alywin at the back gate to run the KR Charity Route... It was ok, except that I think I started too fast as usual and by the slope at YIH i was so tired. Pushed myself till the road leading up to fong seng before I decided to take the easier route back, while the guys continued with the central library slope before running back. Met them back in KR before I rushed off to bathe!

8) Zoomed to Blk ADM for WMYC Meeting which was really fruitful in my opinion...for once i think we are getting there...and its timely so yes :D Left at 7.45pm for back to hall.

9) Chingay Prac till 9pm. Thank goodness Darren and I managed to pull it off during the 'test' phewww. only 2 practices ok! yay what an achievement.:D

10) Late dinner Ah seng with alywin, valmond, mel, darren, andre, kaiyin, bryan...

11) Darren popped by to collect his history file...before I left for block meeting. BLock meeting was really fun and it felt significantly homely, quite to my own surprise.

12) Our first supper at sheares for this year. Talked quite a bit to the newcomers..:D

13) Came back to hall and spent the last 2 hours plus giving out SMU shirts to the whole block...with Laura's help of course! :D

14) Janice and Zeya popped by for a little chat:D

15) Blogged about today, and trust me this will be once in a bluemoon.

Some things on my mind:

1) Sundown - team 10km OR half marathon with ll? HMMM!
2) KR Charity Run - SMU team or block team?? should I even be running, so close to roadrace.
3) HOMEWORK.DOING 6 MODS THIS SEM KILL ME.
4) Lots of IHG duties
5) Cross training tomorrow, after dont know how long. Hope I dont be too cui:(
6) My FIRST writing module tomorrow, serious stuff.

Always in need of divine help.

Valmond invited me for breakfast at 8.30am tomorrow, but think im gonna give it a skip, need the sleep

Okay, gonna watch a little bit of Canton movie now, before I hit the pillow.

WHAT A DAY!:D
HOPE EVERYDAY WILL BE AS FULFILLING AS TODAY, BUT PLUS MORE SLEEP:D

I thought it was going to be ok, but i feel thoroughly upset now, like im going to be left behind. Yes thats exactly how i feel.

The only good thing that comes out of this is that you'll never know.

Compromises

There are some things in life which I believe one should not compromise on. This makes me sound a little old-maidish and stubborn, too stubborn in today's world.
But, im not sorry for myself.

One of the few things people shouldn't compromise on, is how people treat them. I always tend to stand up for myself alot, especially when the treatment is uncalled for and totally unneccessary.

Because of this however, you tend to have your own value system, that outsiders might never fully comprehend..unless of course, they are your closest friends.

Praying for some 'right' decisions to be made this semester...

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
Hi

::meiyi:: says:
hi

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
Whatsupppp

::meiyi:: says:
sorry who are you?

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
DEB la siao

::meiyi:: says:
which deb?

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
Perc

::meiyi:: says:
hahaa ohhhh i thought you were some scammer la!

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
The one whose friend u made out with hahaha (this is not true btw)
Siao

::meiyi:: says:
hahahahaha siaooo
hahaha

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
Siao
Hahahahha
Am at zirca now

::meiyi:: says:
anyaway how was your NYE!!!!

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
GOOD
Urs?

::meiyi:: says:
huhhhh then you have so much time to talk to me?
hahahaa
or even on msn?? hahaha

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
Hahaha can't believve u tricked me

::meiyi:: says:
actually im really skeptical deb is talking to me
are you rui
CONFESS

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
Hahaha no
I'm deb
I know syed

::meiyi:: says:
no i dont believe
hahaha tell me more
she talks about syed all the time

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
Hahahhaa
I'm deb la!
Ure cancer patient

::meiyi:: says:
hahahahahhahahahahahaa
goood one
ok i believe you
...
...
...
deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
Ahahahaha
U sure rui nv take advantage of u or not

::meiyi:: says:
yea... we hardly did anything
he just sent me to my friend
haha
waited abit for her
thats about it, he had to rush off, kinda
to THAI DISCO
haha

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
Hahahha I will beat him up if he did

::meiyi:: says:
haha why, maybe it was my fault what
HAHA

deborahlmw@gmail.com says:
Hahaha
I punch both of u la

A really good April Fool's joke on the first day of twenty 10.
I have really crazy friends sometimes, but its them who take me away from this stressland at appropriate times!

xoxo Deb!:D

2010

Actually, 2010 doesnt make any difference to me.

Just as long it stays as great as it has been, I have absolutely no qualms about it. :D