a good good weekend:D

I initially thought I should stay in hall this weekend to mug my ass off and clear the back-log of things before school started, but i decided otherwise when I realised the F1 tickets were left at home!

I never ever regret lugging the tons of files, books (crazy History) and my laptop; not forgetting my shoes and clothes for the weekend home (thanks to vera, i got a lift home!) because home is always so wonderful. Well, i might not have the same discipline as i do studying back in hall (when I be entirely anti-social and close my room door) but its a nice feeling here - like it makes you feel wholesome and happy. Like you know you can just try your best and no matter how you do in exams your family and friends love you. Not that this doesnt happen whether im staying out or in home, but the motivation and the air around feels different. I may not cover much studying at home, but i think the spiritual encouragement can make up for it.

Well anyway, today was awesome moresome because I met my Mum in town after her floral arrangement project for KFC and shopping in town - beat that! I haven't had the chance to do a proper catching up with her since school started and im more then willing to do it over this weekend even though I still have mid-terms I haven't studied for next week:/ After that we headed to Newton Food Centre for dinner and SATAY plus i had to take pictures as part of my Southeast Asian Project.

Today was a good day, and tomorrow's gonna be just as good.
Going for church in the morning and lunch at Parkway ( I MISS YOU PP!) followed by my music class then F1 FTW:) backstreet boys here i come!:)

Recess week was good, I did most of my important stuff and projects, went for trainings and interviews etc, mambooo and met up with my family and friends.

BYE BYE MID TERMS but its okay ill make it somehow, because at least im really happy:)

P.S My Dubai trip has been extended to included Egypt this December.
CANT WAIT CANT WAIT C A N T W A I T!!!

I have a small ambition to step on all continents in the world before im 25.
I think im on my way:)

Im not celebrating Christmas or New Year in Singapore this year though:/

I just got back from training, and I think i'm feeling quite satisfied!
but iIt's back to this pile of never-ending work and numerous projects and essays to do... ah!

But apart from this, it has been two trying weeks, sending many friends off overseas, the many tears and training up my rationalising skills that i'l be able to see them in mere 3 months. What's 3 months in uni come on, its just slightly more than 10 weekly lectures and tutorials, about 30 trainings and a couple of meetings for projects and all. Okay I shouldn't have done that because it has just made 3 months seem pretty long. But oh well :( I was more than willing to put my homework aside because I know I'd regret if I didnt do a great farewell for Hwee and Jill...but I cant help but feel teensy worried now, not sure if I can catch up in time. My last week was atrocious, since class participation requires all the pre-assigned readings to be cleared. Also had to make use of all the time I had (travelling included) to study for my 2 mid term tests (YES I HAVE CLEARED TWO!).

Amidst all these, I think priorities will surface time and time again and with God's wisdom I'll press on, and you too, and my favourite 7 girls too - esp Hwee in UK and those in SMU Stressland...we'll get through this tgt!

Many pictures from send-offs and my last shopping/ exploring stint with Jill at Mustafa; NYNY at Chiawen's and SYHO to make me happy. Ill upload these soon!

When i see you, i run out of words to say

I've just had my first mid-term test in university, how exciting, i actually skipped my whole day of classes just to mug for the test. Thing is, how it has always been with history, you really have to study the W.H.O.L.E thing for every single test/ exam. I mean history is about causes and effect and somehow you feel helpless if you have no clue what happened before eg. 1776 even though if you are just talking about the impact of the eventful year of 1776. Fortunately or unfortunately, its my favourite subject still.

Thing about me is that I get really angry with myself if I dont put in my best. Like you get the stabbing feeling, do you feel that way sometimes? Thats why for A'Levels i made sure i put in my best and after that i knew the results wouldn't really matter (well, of course it did matter a bit) but that part you can't really help right.

I want to carry on with that mentality in university as well - the spirit of doing my best and even if you fail, its not because you failed failed but because its just not meant for you. I want to be an extremist in this way- i want to do everything I can in my own ability as an imperfect human being. I want to aim for Yale for exchange even though I know im going to be equally happy if i go to say Penn State instead. I want to aim for U Penn even though I might not even end up there.

So when things get in my way, I just get the feeling I'm not doing the right thing.

I wonder if it's too late to turn back.

Plus i really hate the feeling of being possibly fake, can't take it when you see the ugly side of things and how you just have to live with it and not do anything about it.

It just culminates within you and you either become numb or you just quit. I'll prefer to quit, this time round.

What gets me through

I think i have fallen too deep to pull out of anything.
Besides God which for me is uncompromisable, The many committments I already had,think ill have to cut each of them down by at least 25 % to squeeze more things in.

Its just not that easy because I listen to people and their advice so when im here i hear one thing, and when i go there, i listen to what they say. But i think I have had time to settle down, and I have already decided what I'm going to do...I believe nothing is going to change unless God's will changes.

I'll be content with hopping btw KR, USP and Cross and ill promise ill do my best for my studies. Just praying for a smoother flow of events, less interruptions and perhaps less expectations above my personal ones for myself.

***

On a lighter note, I had a fulfilling 2 weeks so far and 4 weeks in school. I never knew I could be capable of doing so so much in just one month, I feel like I've been in school for at least 2 months really. I need the term break, its not too early for me like what some others say!

Just finished my music exam on Wed, it went as planned, hope the results too!
Because of that i've been running up and down hall and the dear east for nearly 5 consecutive nights and mornings i was so drained every night! still went for cross trainings and the easy runs - tuesdays, fridays and sunday mornings at macritchie, becauswe it makes me happy!Between lessons some of us also headed for the Student Exchange Programme talks at the USP building, and yay i think ive kinda gotten an ideal exchange location:) It also reminded me alot of my intention of staying in Singapore to study in the first place- to be able to go to more places on a smaller scale then studying overseas. That gave me more focus to keep me awake in the wee hours of the mornings finishing tutorials!

Finally I've been so happy being able to meet friends and Hwee and the girls in town thi week...Ate lunch with Shermaine on Wed then headed to meet the girls at DTF for a quick lunch, then came bk to school for T rug training with sherry and the others! then it was bk to kr for elections yay congrats new ppl:) and because ive not been out for a destressing session for super long, met sid at 1 fullerton heh before conking out bk in hall at about 5 plus in the morning! gosh. what a fab wed:)

Thurs was school then met mouse and hwee in town for Cream Bistro lunch hmmm yummm! Calamari Hwee!<3 then we walked and mini shopped in Ion and pigged out on some snacks at the basement. By the time i reached bk hall i managed to go for a quick run with star runner Mathew (lol see him say 'no!' here its funny)to West Coast Park. Dinner then my quick bath and it was singing with Zeya and Bryan before heading for the really quick choir auditions hahaha. it was fun but of course the pitching part (going higher and higher, or lower and lower) killed me! well im glad that at least i loved the song "Swear it again" by Westlife haaha.

today is today! have intervals training (poor legs:/) in half an hour and then gg to SMU for Hwee's Bomb Attack then ROCHOR tauhuay YUM:)
Ok, I have two big tests next week... and Im going for IFG T Rug for USP tmr! GO GIRLS:)

It should be quite an interesting busy week...cept that my two really good friends Hwee and Jill are leaving for UK next week ill miss them so so dearly :(

Nobody said it was going to be easy,
but no one said it was gonna be this hard either.

I think all of us have got our own set of joys and dreams and sorrows.
You've gotta find your own direction, we'll travel different paths but we'll reach the same destination yea.

go go go girls!