Handover 2008
Today during PE lesson, Jac Vera and I took the liberty to plan our own exercise regime and ran cross country route to East Coast and back.
I love running long distance, there's something very appealing about it, at least thats what i feel. Would sign up for the Stan Chart 21km, but have less than 2 weeks to train for it considering the Lit paper which juts out and takes up some space in our calendar of freedom somewhere in mid Nov. Therefore, i have to be content with just a pathetic 10 km again. Sigh. I know 10km may already sound like a feat to some, but after running that since sec 3, that makes it 3 years, its just trite and boring. boo.
Today tuesday was a day of getting back to reality. With some really shocking math grade, i looked back upon my old post Quote : "i guess i have reason to be proud because i crammed what people were doing over the entire term into the last 3 or 4 days. if i count honestly, i think i studied only for mids for 10 days [edit: spending at least 5 days getting by the juvenile confusions first] I also realised that i didnt even catch up with those stuff I missed when we missed school while in New York!" Its my own fault for not challenging fatigue after late nights in school, for not pressing through with those confusing symbols even at midnight and probably for just not having enough resolve.
Both my parents work and since we have no maid at home, and since my sister is overseas plus my oldest sister is really caught up with her crazy hectic banking job, I always reach home first despite it being late, and therefore spend at least an hour clearing up and doing some housechores so that i can spare my mum from the tyranny of some of those unrelenting dust. After that my mum returns and i help her in the kitchen to prepare food so that we dont eat dinner at 10 oclock. after that its another half an hour of tidying up the kitchen and clearing up and hola, i often sit down at my desk to do work only at 10 or 10.30pm! My family is not the traditional Chinese family kind that encourages you to "Study study study" kind because fortunately or unfortunately for me, do not believe in hardcore mugging. Maybe its because my dad and sister are brilliant in a very similar way...Raffles ftw and never needed to touch a book to do well. My parents also cant stand it when im huddled, stressed at my desk with books and really technically yell at me at 12 to go to bed. I have nightmares because then i have only had 1 hour of solid work but this probably covers only 2 sides of a thick stack of Israeli-Palestinian notes and is heavily insufficient. I cant complain because ultimately blame comes back to me for giving away my weekends to friends or rest...poor time management!
All these are not excuses though, because I compare the resolve of those under much more "undesirable" circumstances and I lose miserably. I used to have a friend back in primary school who had to help her physically disabled mum run a hawker stall and prepare all the things at the crack of dawn and after school too. Her grades were one of the best in the level.
So, what can i change? I cannot change the blessings (which we often take it as seemingly banes as i have listed above) God has given us, I cannot change the responsibilities i have been given, I cannot change the cards God has dealt me, so what can i change?
I can change, and must change in fact my own attitude towards everything, how everything is indeed is not impossible and have more resolve to complete things i have to complete. Was talking to my junior today and its really so much easier advicing people then carrying it out yourself.
Thankyou Jessie, Charissa, Eric, Director Poh, Exco, Section, (ahaha kaikeng) and all the year 2s for adhering to my crazy qualms of camwhoring todayy. Thank you so much for understanding me so much this past year and basically know that when i dont give a smile or dont speak a word, something's wrong. Thank you so much for reading me like a book, it scares me sometimes! Thank you for giving me so many enjoyable dinner company and wacky fun where i can really be myself. I remember having a vegetable stuck in between my teeth and somehow after i found out after kind soul charissa told me haha i was surprised i didnt really mind it at all. haha ok thats embarrassing but thats a fantastic example man. Lastly, thank you for making this afternoon and evening so much better for me. All my smiles are still captured in JS's cam and will be uploaded soon. I even have an accidental upskirt picture gosh no no i shant upload that haha!
Tomorrow, how things were are going to "officially change" and though we can cry like Matthew at the end of our video because everything was merely a memory, we will still have the best laughs of our life while watching it, and, the best of company to follow us forever.
For me though, its going to take some time to really let go, but like what i said to Gabriel, what has to be done, has to be done and we must do it with resolve! Happy handover tomorrow and,
pamper your tear glands tonight guys.
