new

Bintan was good, but upon coming back to Sg, its like plunging back into reality. Plunging with hands on my nose though, because I won’t say I didn’t expect what has happened so far, although I won’t say I was fully prepared.

For one, hall so far has been giving me a rather different experience from what Year 1 gave - the group of people I’ve been hanging out with are different...this isn’t bad, but revisits from those of the ‘past’ and doing like-minded activities strike a chord within me that I know these are the only things I ever wanna do, and never change..now this is bad. When I commit to activities, it’s because I’m purely helping friends out, like based on one-to-one individual friendships rather than being committal to the idea of the event itself...which makes me feel so conflicted so much of the time... Also, not only do I miss those not here anymore, but I also miss those still here... It feels so distant when I see them with their new freshies/friends or doing new stuff because it’s something I can’t help, yet i’m still struggling for some control.

Maybe its still holiday period for everyone but me (because of having to go back to school) so I kinda see things from a distance, rather than being submerged in the entire thing.

Despite of how my attitude as a KR person has changed quite abit, I will still say I hold it close to my heart for the many amazing memories it has given me, the small friendships that go the distance (that others really don’t know about) and has helped me so much last year.

Maybe I should throw any expectations away and hit the ‘refresh’ button.